conversation started on facebook--- lets continue it here

[MeLisa Turcott Strongheart]

Here is the conversation started on facebook--- thought we might want to keep it going on here. chime in:

MeLisa Turcott Strongheart
Ok, I think I am about to blather, but here goes: The kids are being mean. meaner than they used to. meaner at school, on the bus, even in the dojang. mean mean mean. Petty, unforgiving, negative--- they come off the bus a ball of hostility. too often. not occasionally. I am going to teach them about how to make peace. I swear.

Traci Hawes Kaiser, Evelyn James and Steffi DeRobertis like this.

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MeLisa Turcott Strongheart

It is not going to keep going on like this where kids get picked on and picked on and then hang themselves. at least not on my watch, and not the kids I work with. I will teach them to be strong mentally, full of self control, able to resolve conflicts with out hateful speech; and how
to deal with those mean spirited chickodees when they ... "text_exposed");''>See Moreencounter them. VERBAL JUDO is coming to this dojang!
and: I am going to make sure that if it does get physical. My kids walk, or run, escape, with the least amount of damage possible.
yes. I guess it was that kind of day. I declare war on the mean ones. We are waging peace around here.
venting. sorry. maybe i should have made this a blog.

3 hours ago ·

Elizabeth Redfern Kelly

I totally agree MeLisa, mean and I have a very low tolerance for each other as well.

3 hours ago ·

Huston L Turcott

hey, I was on the receiving end of a mean sibling from time to time

3 hours ago ·

MattnCynthia Risoldi Winiski

Here here! C'mon parents! RESPECT! Where are the seeds of this behavior? It's a common problem in history, but I don't remember it being so
blatantly done in front of supervising grown-ups.

3 hours ago ·

Jennifer Muscatel McLeod

Tell us what you need to make it happen!

3 hours ago ·

Elizabeth Redfern Kelly

Finn is learning respect from his DoJong, no sass from a 4 year old, no way. And we are kind, thoughtful people and Finn will be a part of that
(and he is without Malice, thankgod)

3 hours ago ·

Steffi DeRobertis

I like that you are going to teach them. Please let us know if our little one is ever contributing to this negative behavior!

3 hours ago ·

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MeLisa Turcott Strongheart

Just to be clear our kids, at the dojang, are already trained pretty extensively on respecting themselves and others. we talk frequently about the value of diversity and honoring each others unique self and
perspective (of course talk in a way that is appropriate to age.
HOWEVER; i think there is clearly more of it going on. and the kids ... "text_exposed");''>See More don't seem to think it is odd, or unusual to use pretty despicable language towards each other.
and they report some pretty ridiculous stuff that goes on.

4 minutes ago ·

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MeLisa Turcott Strongheart

sooo. after talking with Krista about it today we think that we need to do an intensive training. a month long. teaching aboutinclusion/exclusion; differences; verbal self defense (out of respect and peace); how to stand up for others; how to create peace from a position of strength.

Our kids want to change things. when we talked today ... "text_exposed");''>See More they agreed. not out of obligation, but they
seriously don't want so much "mean and nasty" type of stuff going on.
so: month long.
May. We will start May first.

2 seconds ago ·

[MeLisa Turcott Strongheart]

somehow this inspires me to go for it, in a big way--- we are in this together--- lets start the movement: peace through strength for our kids.

[MeLisa Turcott Strongheart]

This is from an article at http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-04-04-bullying_N.htm


Educational psychologists describe a new kind of bullying. The perpetrators are attractive, athletic and academically accomplished — and comfortable enough around adults to know what they can and can't get away with, in school and online.

These bullies are so subtle and cunning it's hard for school staff to know if what looks like bullying really is, and what to do about it. "Some of it is so under the radar that without training, you can't see what's in front of you," says Marlene Snyder, a Clemson University expert on bullying.


Here is the thing. this can be addressed. and kids can learn while younger, what is respect, and they can learn to value it. It is a teachable trait. that is what we aim to do.